What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
