I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
