oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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