He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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