Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
There r osticjed everywhere
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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