on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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