Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
