Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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