i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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