I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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