i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Who did Billy Mays play for?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
