is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
