Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
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Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
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You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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