So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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