I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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