The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He felt like a one man threesome
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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