I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
