Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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