Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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