2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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