Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she looked like the before picture.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
