idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
