why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think people are normalizing furries
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