we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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