"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
