Sry I called you an 8
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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