it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
