I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
