She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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