talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
