You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
