What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
