their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
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I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
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Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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