you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i barfeds in our rink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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