If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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