16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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