Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Someone shattered a urinal.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
