Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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