I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
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As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
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He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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