3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
