I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize