Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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