I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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