I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
