Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
