apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize