please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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