**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
