i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
