I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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