false alarm. still invincible.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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