Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
