Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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