okay pat passed out under dana's car
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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