That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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