We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
