I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
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