Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
