were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I want a musical about memes.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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