at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
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Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
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That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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