I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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