Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
sex in a hospital.. check
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
