im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
