Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize