i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
