Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I need a beard to bite.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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