I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
