It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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