a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
