Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I want to be your penis for a week.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
