it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
